I agree with Christine - there is power in numbers. Try to recruit a few other parents and together approach the teacher on how you want to help and make things easier at no cost of time or money to them. Teachers have a lot on their plate and thinking of taking one more thing on could seem like the straw that will break the camel's back. Another suggestion is to start small - do a low key fundraiser and get a win to build up trust and understanding, and then each fundraiser/activity following can get a little bigger. Good luck!
PS: I agree youth sports and activities are out of control. I want my daughters 12 and 15 to try as many things as possible - see what they like, don't like, learn from each experience. But, everything now is framed that it has to be "your thing." It leaves no room for discovery and isn't that what it is truly all about?!?!? Cleary, I have a POV :)
Hi Julie, thank you for your suggestions (and kind words). One of my frustrations has been that the band doesn't do even the easiest of fundraisers available: running the snack stand at football/ basketball games. They would get a percentage of what is sold that night and all it takes is someone to sign them up. There are other opportunities like that just waiting to be started. I guess where I struggle is this: once we have those off the ground, what do we do next and how will I know it's time to scale up?
Do you know any of the other band parents? Are they willing to be more involved with the band (raising/donating money)? If it’s just you, one person is easy to ignore. But if there are a lot of you…harder for him to ignore all of you. You might have better luck if there are a few more parents who want to be involved and you can build a bigger band that way too I’d imagine. Just a thought. Good luck! We’re big HS band people in the Mangiavellano family!! 😆😆
Thank you, Christine. I appreciate this suggestion. We know one other family and I reached out to the boy's mother after reading your comment. I like this approach and also it provides an opportunity to learn more about the history and context of working with this director since the family we know has been in the band longer.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s very strange that this person wouldn’t at least take the opportunity to meet with you. Maybe he believes that your fundraising ideas will add more work and pressure to a life that may already be overwhelming (we never know what another person’s dealing with in life). I would suggest that you reply and, thank him/her for the consideration and note that you will be reaching out to the principal to investigate how you can best use your passion for volunteerism. Or approach as, “I’ve noticed that some of the instruments are not in the best of shape and I would like to be helpful replacing them. What do you think we could do to make that happen? How can we partner together to work on a common goal? I believe we want the same things for our students.” Just some thoughts to consider. Good luck!
Thank you for these suggestions, Samantha. One of the challenges has been how to meet this director's communication style or, really, to connect at all. I like how you've phrased this and yet still communicated "I'm not going away" and "I'm involving the principal." I've really struggled with how to communicate that without sounding like a jerk. Thank you!
I agree with Christine - there is power in numbers. Try to recruit a few other parents and together approach the teacher on how you want to help and make things easier at no cost of time or money to them. Teachers have a lot on their plate and thinking of taking one more thing on could seem like the straw that will break the camel's back. Another suggestion is to start small - do a low key fundraiser and get a win to build up trust and understanding, and then each fundraiser/activity following can get a little bigger. Good luck!
PS: I agree youth sports and activities are out of control. I want my daughters 12 and 15 to try as many things as possible - see what they like, don't like, learn from each experience. But, everything now is framed that it has to be "your thing." It leaves no room for discovery and isn't that what it is truly all about?!?!? Cleary, I have a POV :)
You are doing a great job Dad!
Hi Julie, thank you for your suggestions (and kind words). One of my frustrations has been that the band doesn't do even the easiest of fundraisers available: running the snack stand at football/ basketball games. They would get a percentage of what is sold that night and all it takes is someone to sign them up. There are other opportunities like that just waiting to be started. I guess where I struggle is this: once we have those off the ground, what do we do next and how will I know it's time to scale up?
Do you know any of the other band parents? Are they willing to be more involved with the band (raising/donating money)? If it’s just you, one person is easy to ignore. But if there are a lot of you…harder for him to ignore all of you. You might have better luck if there are a few more parents who want to be involved and you can build a bigger band that way too I’d imagine. Just a thought. Good luck! We’re big HS band people in the Mangiavellano family!! 😆😆
Thank you, Christine. I appreciate this suggestion. We know one other family and I reached out to the boy's mother after reading your comment. I like this approach and also it provides an opportunity to learn more about the history and context of working with this director since the family we know has been in the band longer.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s very strange that this person wouldn’t at least take the opportunity to meet with you. Maybe he believes that your fundraising ideas will add more work and pressure to a life that may already be overwhelming (we never know what another person’s dealing with in life). I would suggest that you reply and, thank him/her for the consideration and note that you will be reaching out to the principal to investigate how you can best use your passion for volunteerism. Or approach as, “I’ve noticed that some of the instruments are not in the best of shape and I would like to be helpful replacing them. What do you think we could do to make that happen? How can we partner together to work on a common goal? I believe we want the same things for our students.” Just some thoughts to consider. Good luck!
Thank you for these suggestions, Samantha. One of the challenges has been how to meet this director's communication style or, really, to connect at all. I like how you've phrased this and yet still communicated "I'm not going away" and "I'm involving the principal." I've really struggled with how to communicate that without sounding like a jerk. Thank you!