Welcome to Fundraising for Breakfast

Toaster Waffle Insights into Raising Money

Let’s keep this first post short and crispy.

Long story short: I made a career change into fundraising about five years ago and quickly learned the secret to raising money for charity: people give to people.

And some of the people I’ve seen be most successful at raising money aren’t fundraisers at all—they’re just people who feel strongly about something and then ask other people to feel strongly about it, too. But they’re often reluctant to do so because (1) talking about money is hard (2) asking others for money is uncomfortable and, as Homer Simpson said way back in the 90s when I still watched The Simpsons, (3) “Can’t someone else do it?”

Every day I learn something new about how to raise money for charity simply by being attentive to the people around me: my family, my friends, my co-workers, my pickleball people, former students who I still vibe with, randos on the street, etc. Interactions with them have shaped how I raise money. And I think it can do the same for you, too.

I’m proposing that in the most basic human interactions that fly by without comment—discussions at the dinner table, chatty moments at work, or even bumming around the gym—there are little bits and bites of what makes raising money for charity more fun, fulfilling, and joyful than you probably think it is.

It’s the work we’re going to do with this Substack

But why “Toaster Waffle” Wisdom, Dan?

With so many toaster-oven breakfast foodstuffs out there, why waffles? And this is Substack. Shouldn’t this be a Substack…of pancakes? Stop already. I hear it, too. Two reasons why waffles are the perfect metaphor for what’s on the menu, here.

Reason 1: Everybody loves waffles. And if you don’t, you should. They’re chewy and buttery and crispy and warm and toasty and you can eat them however you want. Have them as a main course or as a snack. Or dessert. Make them yourself and heat them up in a toaster or buy them from the store. Eat them with your hands or with a knife and fork. It’s your world.

They’re versatile, fun to eat, and as easy or as hard as you want to make them. To my mind, a little comfort food puts a softer focus on something as intimidating-seeming as asking others to give you money.

Reason 2: They come in all shapes and sizes so you can pick and choose your poison. Go find some in the frozen food section of the grocery or head to your local Waffle House. (Today is the day that you learn there is such a thing in this world as a “Waffle House Poet Laureate.” I’m jealous as hell I didn’t think of this first). Want a toaster waffle but prefer that it tastes disgusting? Close your eyes and crack a tooth on a waffle-flavored Pop Tart. They look like this:

Hot-take from Child #1: “It’s gross. But I’ll eat it.”

This Substack offers you a similar variety of ways to manage something people have a hard time choking down: talking about money, asking other people for it, and even giving it yourself to worthy causes.

Also, pancakes are shit.

They have no personality beyond what you pour over them.

There. Come and get me, Substack.

Your Toaster Waffle Bill of Rights:

You have rights, here, people. What you can expect from weekly posts:

1.     Waffles served on time—Every Monday morning for the next six months (more or less). Come October, if you feel like Wendell Zurkowitz, we’ll keep this Pepsi commercial rolling:

2.     Sensible snacks. Not gut-busters—We’ll keep things poppy, toasty, and short around here. 3-5 minute reads to start your week with something to chew on. And if something gets caught in your throat, go speed-barf it into the Comments section. This is the internet, you guys. It’s what the Comments section is there for.

3.     Lots of company around the toaster—Much of my perspective on fundraising comes from living my normal life and interacting with the people I work with. They’re talented, weird, argumentative, funny, frustrating, dedicated, quirky do-gooders. They’re family members, fundraisers, marketers, social workers, teachers, pickleball players, and friends. I change their names so they won’t be babies about it.

You’ll also meet my mother. I’ve never actually seen her eat a waffle but she isn’t shy about sharing her fundraising advice.

She thinks I should be asking celebrities for money.

And she thinks you should, too.

Let’s meet her next time.