I Was the Youngest Waiter In Ponderosa Steakhouse History
...and it was the first time I asked for something I wanted at work
I started my first ever job over Memorial Day weekend in 1994 as a busboy at Ponderosa Steakhouse in East Lansing, Michigan. If you’re among the unwashed who’s never dined at a Ponderosa, it was a chain of fast-casual buffets where you could get a steak and then abuse the soft-serve dessert bar. Wikipedia tells me that only 13 Ponderosas remain open.
As far as first jobs go, it was pretty great. I was a high-school sophomore working with mostly college students. All of whom—to my mind—were unbelievably good looking and were (apparently) all sleeping with each other. Nobody worked very hard, everybody gossiped incessantly, and they all seemed so impossibly sophisticated. None of them could have been older than 22. It was like working at the Peach Pit on 90210 (Google it, kids).
Ponderosa Steakhouse in 1994 was full of firsts for me:
When I worked a closing shift, I stayed out late on school nights. Very adult of me, I know.
A girl who worked the buffet line introduced me to my first serious girlfriend. I think they were in the school marching band together or something.
It was the first time I had ever been treated like a piece of trash by management. One manager, nicknamed “Big Joe” (the other manager—also named Joe—was 100 pounds lighter and known as “Little Joe”), once barked at me: “Hey, dipsh*t! The good parking spots are for customers! Move your car!” (In all fairness, he called everybody “dipsh*t.” We called him way worse things behind his back, believe me). Plus, I was driving this sweetheart at the time. Drink it in:
It was the first time I ever saw somebody quit in a manager’s face. One of the waitresses and one of the waiters were caught in flagrante delicto outside the walk-in freezer. Buuutttt, everybody knew that this waiter was already hot and heavy with one of the hostesses. Very, very high drama, you guys. The waitress later marched up to Big Joe, handed him her apron, said “It’s not gonna work out,” and left. It’s still one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen.
I went to my first college party which was, in retrospect, totally lame. Mostly people playing cards and co-workers complaining about Big Joe or their classes. My contribution: “Yeah, Algebra II stinks!” (One of the cooks offered me a beer and I told him I didn’t drink. He handed me a Coke and asked what I did for fun when Big Joe wasn’t calling me a dipsh*t. What a decent guy, don’t you think? Making a kid feel welcome in a place he didn’t belong).
I worked at Ponderosa for less than a year because that location went out of business and—are you ready for it?—eventually became this:
RIP Ponderosa.
Rest In Porterhouses.
Ponderosa was also the first time I mustered the courage to ask for something I wanted in the workplace.
Waiters made more money than us lowly busboys, and I wanted a piece of the action. So I decided to ask for a promotion. I spotted my chance when Little Joe poured a cup of coffee and retreated to a booth with the newspaper.
I mumbled and squeaked and fidgeted and blushed and awww-shucks-ed until I finally spit out what I wanted. Little Joe listened, smiled, nodded, and never once let on that I was interrupting his break. He thanked me, promised to talk it over with Big Joe, and then went back to his newspaper.
Lo and behold, the following week I landed my first shift as a waiter. Little Joe pulled me aside, said he was glad I brought it up, and gave a version of the following speech: “Did you see Kelly quit in [Big] Joe’s face? Messed up! She and Bill were messing around in the back but he’s dating Carrie, isn’t he? Everybody’s talking about it and I’m already sick of it…So, we’re down one wait staff and if [Big] Joe keeps calling you all ‘dipsh*ts’ everybody’s gonna quit. So, I guess you’re up, slugger…Push the steak tips. Kitchen’s drowning in ‘em.”
He then congratulated me on becoming the youngest waiter in Ponderosa Steakhouse history. It was years before I realized he was teasing me, but I took it very seriously.
Still do.
I bragged to Child #1 about being the youngest waiter in Ponderosa history. To which he replied: “What’s a Ponderosa?” That’s just poor parenting right there.
So, here’s a little Tuesday-after-Memorial-Day toaster-waffle insight I learned from a job I had a lifetime ago in a building that’s now, regrettably, an IHOP:
Ask for what you want when you want it. Let ‘em know you’re there and want something. Make the bastards say no to you.
If you’re nervous making an ask, don’t sweat it. It says that what you’re asking for actually matters to you.
Your ask may solve a problem (or resolve some issue) that other people don’t even know they have. An ask can be mutually beneficial in ways neither of you can fully comprehend until you do it.
I like tracing an experience from my first job to my current career. It’s somehow reaffirming. And 30 years later I’m proud of the kid who put himself out there and made an ask—however awkwardly he did it.
So, c’mon you waffle-eaters. Share in the comments what you did for your first job and I’ll be the judge if it was really as bad as you remember!
First job was working at McDonald’s. Found out real quick that not everyone had parents who instilled a work ethic in their children. True, it was mostly teenagers working there (most of whom I went to school with) but the managers were the worst. By the way-chicken nuggets make great hockey pucks! 🤣
I knew I wasn’t going to be there long so I wasn’t asking for much but I did want to work in the back, away from the customers (never have been a people person-that skipped right over me!). I remember the manager telling me he doesn’t let teenagers work in the kitchen. Which was a bunch of bs because a guy in my class worked in the kitchen.
Didn’t call him out on it because it wouldn’t get me anywhere but I did learn about management favoritism at that job. And to learn which hills I want to die on. 🤷🏻♀️
My first “real” job was at a bank. I was in the steno pool (as Dan says, look it up kids) and I was covering the phones for the executive floor while all the executive secretaries were celebrating something together. I was told to just take messages and the big bosses would get back to them. Which I did. As everyone was returning, one of the bosses came right at me and asked why, when so and so called I didn’t let him know, and it could have cost the bank millions, etc., etc. He really went off on me and I was about in tears. This was in front of secretaries and executives. One of the secretaries stepped up and said, she was doing what she was told to do and you need to apologize. He just turned and walked away. Later he called me in his office and apologized. I learned two things from this: stick up for your coworkers, and if you embarrass someone in public, make amends in public.