The Best Fundraising Advice You’ll Ever Get From A Driver’s Ed Instructor
How’s my daughter's driving? “Half good, half okay”
Child #2 is learning how to drive and I recently dropped her off at a Chick-Fil-A parking lot so she could go driving around town with a certified instructor. They drove for an hour while I ate spicy chicken sandwiches and waffle fries until they got back.
The instructor’s car was, as you might expect, plastered with magnets and stickers:
When they returned, I asked the instructor how she did. His response? “Half good, half okay.” Which is a spectacularly confusing answer to a pretty simple question.
But over the course of the week, I’ve found a kernel of insight at the heart of this bizarre assessment of my daughter’s driving. And I think it can help new fundraisers get more comfortable behind the wheel of their own efforts.
Take a drive with me…
Understand from the outset that Child #2 is a good driver. She signals when she’s supposed to, comes to a complete stop at all stop signs, and obeys all speed limits. I’m very impressed by this.
Mainly because I often do none of these things while I’m driving.
I sometimes don’t use my signal (did you know that your car only has a limited number of clicks on your turn signal? Don’t waste them!) I occasionally roll through stop signs. And Baltimore City speed cameras have caught me *ahem, ahem* sprinting on numerous occasions. (Stop that tutt-tutting, Substack! I’ve seen you drive, too!)
S I D E B A R
I may exhibit C+ driving behavior, but I’m an A+ parallel parker. Completely self-taught. And I’m pretty stuck up about it.I will joyfully pass up an easy parallel parking spot for a harder one just so I can keep my skills sharp and impress others.
It’s also my favorite answer to the “tell us something about yourself” ice-breaker at work. I’m sure I have co-workers who don’t believe me, so next week’s post will just be videos of me parallel parking.
I’m sorry to report that Child #2 recently got in a minor fender bender. (A semi veered into her lane, she saw him too late, tried to swerve, got bumped, popped the curb, and the idiot truck-driver drove off). Here is a photo of the damage:
Here’s the dilemma: Child #2 was doing everything right yet none of that helped when someone who wasn’t paying attention bumped her onto the curb. She’s a good driver, but she lacks the instincts that comes with experience. And that’s not her fault.
I, however, have the driverly intuition that she doesn’t. I sensed maybe ten seconds before the truck hit us that this guy didn’t see us. But I froze because I didn’t know how to communicate that we were getting boxed in and what she needed to do about it. It’s the hardest thing for me to teach her: what I know/feel others are going to do on the road before they do it.
This is where learning to drive a car and learning how to fundraise have come together for me, you guys.
People who have been driving cars and raising money for a long time are a lot alike. They each know things without necessarily being able to explain how they know them:
How do I know that the yellow Jeep two cars up to the left from us about to merge without signaling? I just do.
How do I know that the Toyota at this red light is going to gun it and cut in front of me? I just have a feeling.
How do fundraising pros know when it’s the right time to ask for a donation? They sense the opportunity and they act.
How do longtime fundraisers know when it’s better to back off rather than push? They hear it in somebody’s tone of voice before anywhere else.
Whether it’s driving a car or raising money for charity, intuition and insight come from experience. It’s what we should all aspire to, but what good does that do Child #2 right now? Or young, hungry fundraisers ready to make a splash?
So let’s embrace “Half good, half okay” for what it is: a meaningful stage of development. It means:
You know the rules of the road but need to get more comfortable improvising as circumstances change.
You’re in control, but haven’t yet learned not to ride somebody’s tail to get where you want to go.
You’re comfortable being in the driver’s seat, but still need a bit more seasoning to learn that different rules apply to different situations.
Being “Half good, half okay” means you’re in the thick of it. That you’re still learning, growing, and developing instincts. That’s where I want to be.
For the new drivers and old fundraisers in my household, “Half good, half okay” also means exchanging one bumper sticker on the back our car for another:
My job as a driver’s-ed dad is to keep Child #2 behind the wheel and help her learn how to intuit what’s next on the road. My job as a fundraiser is to keep my donors in the driver's seat of their own best philanthropic intentions.
I aspire to be “Half good, half okay” at both.
P O S T-S C R I P T S I D E B A R
My Gen-x brothers and sisters all across Substack learned to drive from the movies. Take a stroll down memory lane with the best Driver’s Ed movie clips from the 1980s and 90s movies that live rent free in my mind:
License to Drive (Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince was the driver’s ed teacher? Outstanding!)
Clueless (“Oops…my bad!”)
Naked Gun (“Go for it, Stephanie!”)
An awful lot of people have not learned not to ride somebody’s tail to get where you want to go. And I NEED that bumper sticker.🐱🐱🐱
Go ahead on child #2!